I lived on a small shelter on the middle of nowhere. I lived alone with my drunken dad and my two brothers and sister… I´m was always beaten up, and when I say always I mean always. It just sucks!! Sometimes when no nobody was home and I was sure that I was really all alone, I used to go to the woods and just lie down there among the leaves and the flowers ... It makes me feel better, makes me feel free, like life doesn’t  suck that bad.

The other day I decided to go back there and instead of trees and plants I found train rail. I never saw one before, sure I heard about but, but I never saw one! I was clearly lost. But instead of turning around and walk away; instead of trying to go home…I just sat on that strange metal wishing  for the train to come, waiting for that stupid train to come and just take me with it, just take me far away from there!... And he did.

I have no regret. Every day when I look down to that railway track I remember that specific day, the day when I truly knew what people mean when they talk about happiness, and for the first time in those ten miserable  years of my life I felt what freedom is like. I felt so open, so light, like nothing could stop me. And I know I’m no longer alive…But at list I´m not alone…

Loving something that is not true

Is all I seem to do,

I saw you in movies and magazines

Wishing you would know my name

Dreaming we would meet some day… 

But truly we never will.

Where is the answer to this prayer?

All the questions I’ve been asking

There nowhere to be found

Never to find

So I close my eyes and scream your name

Maybe you will hear me…

Maybe you will run to me,

Only me

Maybe, in your dreams,

You will see

Who knows??

Maybe you see my dreams when you’re there

Maybe you feel, incomplete, because…I’m not there.

I move mountains with my thoughts

I break walls and stones with a love that isn’t real

 Why be in love if we never going to feel it

Why dream of magic things if all they do is break you when you wake up, and it’s not there. What would happen if everyone could see my papers, dreams and life? Would they laugh because I’m like the other girls? Because I’m pathetic?!? I want to be different!!  Not stuck in the love of pretty people, famous people that I have never met…Sometimes movies I have never seen…or shows that I can’t let go.

Why to brake if we can’t fix. ?

Why to change, if it’s already ok?

Why to be different, when we want to be the same?

Sky Faller_ ridle poem

Light as a father of the smallest bird,

 Innocent as a newborns fait,

 Powerless as the human straight.

She fell from the sky in a stormed night,

Broken soul and cut arms,

She cried for help in the middle of the dark.

Only to be hear by a dreamers heart.

Full of drawings on her body, full of marks and full of regrets,

Wonders the earth the sky faller looking for a saving friend.

 Mistakes happened; mistakes will be forgiven in every year of the chosen date, 

but to such happen her heart needs to be pure and one soul must be in peace, 

she will be reborn, again, in the middle of the same green.

______

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